The Bachelorette
by veronique2
Summary: Hephaistion wanted to suprise ALexander with a surprise but this brought him troubles with the generals.


Title: The Bachelorette 1/1

Authors : veronique

Email address:kyomine2002yahoo.fr

Category:Parody

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion slash

Date:02/01/2005

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't want to read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm okay

Rating:nc 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner Brothers Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This is a work of a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.

Special thanks to my beta dreamer46 .

Summary: Hephaistion wanted to surprise Alexander with a surprise but it brought him trouble with the generals.

Warnings: I based my characters on my interpretation of the movie.  
It's a fanfiction based on the movie and the movie only. It's a pure craziness.

The Bachelorette 1/1

Hephaistion was looking at himself in the mirror; he was ready, fully dressed up as a woman, Persian style. He had done the make up well, and also had a beautiful veil. He took care to manage fake breasts. He told himself he was a pretty woman after all.

Hephaistion sighed. For weeks now, Alexander had expressed a desire to see Hephaistion dressed as woman. The king had asked him endlessly and he always refused to do it.

But today was a special day, the anniversary of their first meeting, and he wanted to surprise Alexander. He felt ridiculous but what Alexander wanted ... Hephaistion sighed again. He really did this because of his love.

They had to meet at Alexander's room in the evening. Hephaistion was worried about Alexander's reaction about this. He hoped he would be pleased and turned on - and not be disgusted and run away screaming.

The most difficult part was to go to Alexander's room dressed like this without anybody noticing him. Alexander's room wasn't far but he had a bad feeling. It was too late for him to change his mind and take off the woman's clothes so he had no choice. He opened the door carefully.

Nobody was in sight. He was relieved. He walked with grace, trying to imitate the woman the best he could. He was almost at the door when he spotted Eumenes who was talking to Alexander in front of his lover's room.

Hephaistion began to panic. What was Eumenes doing there? He decided to go back to his room when he bumped into Crateros.

At this moment, he wanted to die, to disappear. He prayed to the gods, but he was still there.

He smiled shyly, hoping Crateros could not recognize him. The huge guy frowned at him. Hephaistion thought he was lost. Could it be worse? What Hephaistion didn't know yet was that the answer to that particular question was 'yes'.

Crateros smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you lost?"

Hephaistion didn't know what to say. He didn't think and nodded.

"I have a good news for you my beautiful, you are not lost anymore, you found me, you have extraordinary eyes" he said in a sexy voice.

Hephaistion froze, it couldn't have been that. Crateros was seducing him. He suddenly felt nausaus.

Crateros was an adventurous man, and not only in war tactics; quickly he took Hephaistion's hand .

"Wow, You have a strong hand" He said with surprise then he added "But they are also so soft" he started to carress Hephaistion 's hand who quickly took his hand back from Cratero's.

"Oh don't be shy , I won't eat you... Yet", he said with a lust in eyes.

Hephaistion wanted to run away but he couldn't. What if if they found out it was him under these clothes? It would be the shame of his life and he had enough with the generals already to not add another one. On the other hand he couldn't let Crateros continue hoping he would be in his bed anytime soon.

Suddenly Eumenes arrived, probably done with his little talk with the king.

"Crateros?"

For the first time of his life, Hephaistion was glad to see Eumenes.

Eumenes looked at Crateros and the mysterious woman. He blinked twice from the shock he just had receive at the sight of the woman.

Hephaistion who saw the man's look, thought it was the end. Eumenes surely recognised him. He almost had tears of anger and frustration threatening to show up.

"By the gods, I can't believe it," said Eumenes. "I have never seen a such beautiful woman." He looked at Crateros. " Tell me she is not yours yet."

Hephaistion's heart jumped from panic to horror.

" Not yet! But she will be mine soon, I just bumped into her," he said proudly.

Eumenes smiled.

"Hum, so why don't let the woman choose with whom she wants to pass a pleasurable time."

" I saw her first," Crateros said.

" Yes, but we are gentleman, it's better to let the lady choose," he added.

Hephaistion rolled his eyes discretly. 'They were gentleman, since when?' he asked himself.

Crateros and Eumenes looked at him.

He couldn't seriously choose.

" So" asked an impatient Crateros.

" She looks shy" said Eumenes.

Hephaistion needed to say something soon, before theses two decided to have a threesome. He tried to speak with a feminine voice.

"I.can't, I m still pure"

Hephaiston wanted to hit his head on the wall. What was that? Like it could stop the two men. But the truth, was his mind was out of good solutions.

"Oh, this is even better" said Crateros.

That when Cassander joined them. He looked at his friends and was stunned by the beautiful woman in front of him and said " Don't tell me she is free anymore. Such a beautiful lady has to pass the night with me."

Hephaistion wanted to cry, even Cassander.

Soon, they were starting to fight over who would pass the night with the beauty. They agreed it was the woman who had to choose. For that, they all proposed what they would bring to her.

Hephaistion couldn't believe his ears and eyes when Cassander started to claim a love poem while Eumenes disappeared for fews minutes and came back with flowers. Then Crateros suggested that the woman could chose after they all kissed her. That way she could choose the best of them. Then Alexander showed up.

Alexander had been waiting for his lover for 40 minutes and hehad passed from anger to panic worrying because Hephaistion had still not arrived. He had decided to see if Hephaistion was in his room after he couldn't bear waiting anymore.

He looked at his three generals who were fighting to be the first to kiss the lady.

"What is this?" he asked curiously. "Are you fighting over a woman?"

They let poor Hephaistion alone for few minutes as they turned to see their king. Now, Hephaistion was hoping Alexander would notice and save him.

"Alexander!" said Crateros.

" Oh, let Alexander choose for us who she will go with" proposed Eumenes.

They nodded. Alexander looked at the woman and his heart jumped at the sight. He smiled .

"Oh, by the gods" he said

Hephaistion saw he was saved at this instant; he knew Alexander by heart and he knew Alexander recognized him.

Alexander laughed.

"Hephaistion!" he said suddenly.

The Generals didn't understand.

"That's why you were late" He added as he pointed the three generals.

"Thank you Alexander," Hephaistion said bitterly. He was so mad at his lover right now. Why did Alexander say his name?

The generals recognised the soft but masculine voice that came from their beauty.

They started to get pale. Hephaistion took off his veil. "This is not fun Alexander"he said as he passed on his way to Alexander's room, completely pissed at his lover.

Alexander didn't mind Hephaistion being upset. He was having too much fun looking at his generals' faces, knowing they were ready to hang themselves as soon as possible.

" I know you won't say anything about this incident" stated Alexander, seriously this time, "or I will also have to tell how you were fighting to have him in your bed."

He left the generals. They soon left without talking to each other, wanting to drink until they could forget the incident, if it was possible.

That incident was never mentioned again by any of the generals. Alexander liked to bring up the story with Hephaistion when he wanted to tease him. He also liked to remind Hephaistion of all he did to make ammends, and they usually finished the replay with the ammends scene each time.

END.


End file.
